


Girl Code

by Readbyanalise010



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5642695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readbyanalise010/pseuds/Readbyanalise010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark messed with the wrong scientist and the ladies of SHIELD decide to band against him. (Told in a series of text messages.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girl Code

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kalakirya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalakirya/gifts).



> This was created for the Fandom Snowflake Challenge 2015. My fantastic friend Kalakirya asked for an unconventional story, so I made her something that's lady-centric and told through a series of text messages. I probably won't make a sequel, but if anyone feels so inclined, go ahead! I will always cheer for more stories about awesome ladies. :D

**GROUP CHAT - Man Cave**

TONY: Okay, who did it?

STEVE: Did what?

TONY: Who fucked with my robots?

SAM: What do you mean?

TONY: JARVIS won’t respond to me and DUM-E won’t come out of sleep mode. Banner, did you do something and not tell me?

BRUCE: Dude, the ‘bots don’t work for me either. I assumed you were doing maintenance or something.

CLINT: Seriously, I tried to get in the shower this morning and it didn’t work. I had to go to the gym just to get clean!

TONY: Hold the fuck up. Pepper just got JARVIS to report on the stocks.

STEVE: And Natasha just brewed coffee on the Keurig.

TONY: FUCK, THEY GOT THE COFFEE TOO??????

BRUCE: It looks like the ladies are mad at you and taking it out on all of us.

TONY: What do you mean? None of them could hack into my systems and intentionally take out my droids. And even if they could, why would they?

COULSON: You have so much to learn about women.

\-----------

**GROUP CHAT - Girl Code**

DARCY: HAHAHA. Tony’s onto us. Time to make him pay.

SIF: Lady Jane, why are we doing this again?

JANE: HE MESSED WITH MY BIFROST BOT AND NOW HE HAS TO PAY.

PEPPER: I’m all about torturing Tony, but the other guys too?

JANE: I went to Banner to ask why my Bifrost Bot was acting strangely. He said that Tony got bored in the middle of the night and made some _improvements_ to it, It was my first robot! Of course it’s not going to be perfect! It’s only job is to detect activity in the bifrost, mainly so I can see when Thor is coming home. Fuck Stark. Fuck his improvements. And fuck Banner for telling me that I was ~overreacting.~ YES. ALL. MEN.

DARCY: My money is on Clint to crack first. He's gonna get mobbed at the gym if he has to keep showering there.

NATASHA: ...and how do you know where Clint showers?

DARCY: I borrowed Thor's StarkPhone since he's back on Asgard and won't need it. Besides, there are pictures on the internet. LOTS of pictures.

MARIA: Hold on. What did Tony do to the Bifrost Bot anyway? And how did you hack into Stark Industries if this is only your first robot?

JANE: Just because I _choose_ not to make robots doesn’t mean I can’t. Is it so wrong that I want to know when my boyfriend is coming home? Tony decided that it was a waste to have a robot perform only one function, so he has the BiBot is tracking all kinds of disturbances: earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes. I spent a week studying Stark Industries, hacked the systems, and reprogrammed his bots. Tony's lucky I didn't cause a full company blackout.

DARCY: He still has use of his StarkPhone in case of emergencies. Or aliens.

SIF: As the Midgardians say, you get it, girl.

NATASHA: Plotting so that men will come falling at your feet? I'm proud of you, Foster. Let's see how long they can hold out.

 


End file.
